tell me stories

[arksnay]

 I don't think I have ever quit a real (meaning not short-term and understood that people will stay awhile) job for reasons other than relocating or serious conflict. Have you? 

If so, tell me about it. How did you handle making the break? How did your colleagues handle it? It you gave notice, what was the lame duck period like? How did you feel about the decision before and after?

I think the administrators at work are being absolute freaks about my leaving, but I don't know what's normal. Give me a basis for comparison?

Comments

[melograna.livejournal.com]

Can't help you with the comparison stuff, but I wanted to say I'm sorry your co-workers are still being sucktastic.

[caillecha.livejournal.com]

Well, my first real job out of college was at a law firm, where I had moved from paralegal to administrator. People (even non-lawyers) stayed at this place for 15+ years - my boss had been there for 40. I didn't like what I was doing there and most of the people I could tolerate had left, so I found a new job doing something completely different.

Most people outside of my immediate supervisors applauded me for making the change and wished me luck. The people I worked directly with went batshit because they didn't even know what questions to ask me about what I was doing to be able to cover it. My boss basically gave me silent treatment the entire two weeks.

[arksnay.livejournal.com]

My workplace is like this too. Leaving for reasons other than a cross-country move, retirement or a chance to run a national organization just isn't done. A lot of the upper administrators have been there for 20 years plus.

I think the not knowing what to act issue is part of the problem; I work pretty independently and they don't know what to tell my replacement. But that doesn't justify the attitude...

[mawrter.livejournal.com]

I left my one "real" job after a little more than a year. Now, this isn't a perfect comparison, because it was Bradley-Angle, and they were really good employers....

So, they knew I was considering leaving for months ahead of time (I was applying for grad school). My co-workers and supervisor were supportive of that, or at least, they understood that it was a reasonable thing for me to choose to do.

The period between giving notice and actually leaving was pretty calm, even though I was leaving in the middle of the summer (not a great time, since I was pretty much the entirety of the summer program for kids at the shelter). But I had made a point of building up the number of people working under me, which helped, and left a solid curriculum, and spent time in the months between giving notice and actually leaving with making a detailed list of what should be the qualifications for the job (specifically, that the person be bilingual in Spanish, which means I can't go back to that job now, since everyone agreed with me on that score).

But remember, this was BA, where they make a point in the interview of letting you know why they chose to use a hierarchical structure of organization, and where my supervisor would often intervene with me if she thought I was working too hard. So it's kind of an odd organization for comparison.

Sorry they're being jerks. On your end, I think that so long as you leave detailed instructions for the person who comes after you, and prepare your kids for the transition, you've done the right thing.

[arksnay.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that was an unusually healthy work environment.

I'm leaving beyond detailed instructions. Hell, I am bringing my laptop to the DMV tomorrow to work on the instructions. They should have no complaint.

[snarkout-rat.livejournal.com]

Ugh, I'm sorry they're still being such freaks.

I don't really know what's "normal"--I mean, my experiences with this have been all over the map. But what I do know is, employment isn't "till death do us part." A job is a mutual agreement between employer and employee and can be broken at any time if one party feels that the job is no longer meeting their needs, or has found a situation they feel will better meet their needs. The other party may feel like some sort of emotional betrayal has occurred, but it hasn't, even in a job that heavily deals with human relationships and emotional issues.

I've quit 3 "real jobs" in my life. At the first one, quitting was commonplace so no one batted an eye. At the second one, they tried to bully/manipulate me into staying, which only increased my desire to leave. And at the third one (the paper) they gave me a loving sendoff and I've kept in touch with them ever since. I don't count W as a fourth one--that was a misstep, understood as such all around.

It is always a mixed set of emotions that accompanies leaving a job you've had for a long time, but you wouldn't be leaving if you didn't feel it was ultimately the best choice for you. Apart from W, I've never left a job without some feelings of worry and regret, but I think that's also normal and doesn't mean you're wrong to leave.

[arksnay.livejournal.com]

I am almost sure this is the right choice, but I find myself falling for the guilt trips. I sincerely hope that I will be able to manage a positive termination and a relationship with the place afterwards, but current events are making me wonder.

I told our program evaluator I was leaving this afternoon and SHE was absolutely lovely about it.